How to Stay Sober this holiday Season
With Halloween coming up this week, I thought it would be fitting to talk about how to stay sober this holiday season. Soon enough, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years will be here!
So many people put off starting until “after the holidays”… but newsflash there is ALWAYS a holiday or party or celebration or dinner. If you want a reason to drink, you will find one no matter the season. So just start today and have a plan to practice being both social and sober - which is one of my four pillars. Being social AND sober is so important to long-term sobriety! You cannot avoid events forever, nor should you have to.
Anyways, a Halloween party was actually my first public party 10 days into when I decided to quit drinking. At first, I did not think I would be able to go and not drink, so I told my son we would be skipping the party. He broke down in tears and I then shifted my mindset and decided then and there that neither he (nor I) should not have to skip out on things we wanted to go to! So instead of skipping, I made a plan for how to attend this party!
These steps are what have kept me sober for 2 years and counting.
Remember nothing is easy the first time, or even the second. But, with practice it becomes easier and easier until that is just who you are now! Now I can be at any party or event and I don’t want a drink at all but it took practice and time.
Tips for how to get through an event or holiday:
Go to events YOU WANT to go to.
Key word want to! If there is an event you really don’t want to go to, don’t go, you won’t like it sober either. BUT if there is an event you want to go to, please make sure you do your best to attend or you’ll feel like being sober is sad and lonely - and it isn’t!
Set a time limit.
This is the most important thing I did. I set an end time because how many times have you been to a party and it never ends and you end up drinking way more than you had planned and leave after midnight. So in the beginning, my end time was 2 hours (usually like a 6-8pm). This would give me enough time to eat and talk and leave. Your time might be shorter. Some of you might only be able to go and say hello and leave. That is ok. Just showing up you prove to yourself you can do it. Then, add time as you get more comfortable.
BYOB/Have an NA drink in mind:
If attending a home event - know in advance no one will have a cooler full of NA beers for you. You might be lucky if there is Sprite or Diet Coke. So bring your own!
If in public - check the menu before. Call ahead. I even went to the restaurant my Halloween party was at before the event to practice ordering a drink by myself because I had never once ordered a non alcoholic drink before and it felt weird! Then, have a plan B just in case they are out of your first NA option. I like drinks out of wine glasses, or cocktail glasses. It makes me feel fancy without a drink.
Drive yourself so you can leave
Do not car pool. You need to be able to leave when you want.
Have a reason you need to leave ready to go.
You might not use it. The end time helps mitigate this. Maybe you schedule your sitter for an end time. Maybe you blame the dogs or the kids. Maybe you get a stomach ache and need to head out (no one ever questions this). That said, I have never once used an excuse and being tired is TRUE and totally fine to say that as a reason to leave btw - but there is just something about having a way out before you get there that helps. So have a reason in your head, even if you don’t need it.
Don’t arrive hungry, or late, and have a handful of snacks in your purse.
When we are stressed we are more likely to want a drink to calm down. Keep your stress low and your hunger at bay.
Surround yourself with people you like being around and you’ll still have fun and laugh with or without alcohol
You will be surprised - when you don’t drink and you’re surrounded by people you like you will leave every event on an emotional high! You do not need a drink for this, just being around people you like will do this!
Most of all. Holiday or not. It’s one day at a time. Say: I won’t drink today. Then wake up and say it again tomorrow.
Some days are easier than others but in the end it is your new you. And it’s so great 💕
Have any other social sobriety tips? Comment below.
XO,
Jackie